Flirt with an Italian, but marry a Brit

The differences between two cultures

How many times have you been asked about the differences between two countries, their attitudes and their ways of life? And are these differences important when it comes to your love (or sex) life?

We did a straw poll among groups of Italians living in London and we found that, yes, there are differences, and – oh my goodness – when it comes to passion in a relationship, the balance tips in favour of the Italians, but the English beat us hands down when the relationship becomes more serious.

Italians are heart-breakers there’s no doubt about that - they’re Casanovas and womanisers. They are masters of charm and eloquence, and have women fawning over them. They make you laugh (and women adore men who make them laugh). Brits, on the other hand, are apparently shy and more reserved; they take their time to approach a woman, sometimes waiting so long that someone else (generally a Mediterranean) has beaten them to it. .

“It was up to me to make the first move”, says Annalisa Vaughan, a soprano singer living in London with her British husband. “Even if after many years he says he was planning to. I met my husband Steve in Trafalgar Square, one night. He invited me out for a drink, we talked the whole night through and, at dawn… nothing. Not one kiss, not one move, he didn’t even ask me for my phone number! I had to be the one to arrange another meeting. . But after six months, and again in Trafalgar Square, he went down on one knee and produced the ring he had been saving for one month to buy. And he is the sweetest, caring and most thoughtful man I could ever dream of”.

And the Italians? “They want a good looking, tall, slim, tanned girl to show off like a ‘trophy’. Then, when they want to marry, they look for a more normal, grounded mother-of-their-children”. Alice, who has spent the past 14 years in London, confirms that Italians are very concerned with appearance and are unfaithful as soon as an opportunity presents itself.

‘Brits can come across as being a bit cold and distant, but if you give them a chance to get to know you, they’re the most loyal, sweet, kind and trustworthy people you could meet. And they are independent. The Italians, on the other hand, are ‘mummy’s boys’ at any age, and there is always another woman interfering in the relationship – the mother or the sister. Brits don’t rely on stereotypes to conduct a relationship. They are tender and attentive to detail. They make you feel loved and desired at all times.

But wasn’t passion the Italian prerogative?

‘Italian men can be very passionate, but it doesn’t last’, confirms Klarita, a Music and Visual Arts Event Producer, and married to an Englishman.

‘English men are more constant in their affections, even though they may be less passionate. Even after many years they demonstrate their love through small daily gestures, like buying flowers every week, or sending you a text message saying I love you, during the day.’

Also, jealousy doesn’t seem to be an issue in this country. ‘Equality between the sexes is normal’, explains Klarita. ‘And being more independent means they are less possessive and less inclined to be jealous for no reason. But these British subjects – have they no defects at all? ‘Ah, yes, they drink too much’, say our interviewees. ‘But if you can keep them away from the beer, you’ve got it made’.